It's Alright to Say No

Saying NO! You can still Feel Good About Yourself

Many people find it very difficult to say no when someone makes a request of them. They believe that saying no is offensive and uncaring. They will say yes even when they know they really don't want to do it or don't even have the time to do it. However, saying no is an important skill to learn and say from time to time. It is definitely not a bad thing to do. Keep the following information in mind the next time someone asks you do something so you can say no and still feel good about yourself.

1. It is important to remember that saying no is a choice, not a requirement. In any situation, you have the choice to either say yes or say no. Because saying no is as much of a choice as saying yes, that means they are both good and acceptable answers.

2. You think of yourself as a person of integrity. You take pride in being known as a person who gets things done when they make a commitment and won't let anyone down. You can't say no. Yes you can. To be a person of integrity means saying no sometimes. Saying no simply means that you want to stay true to the commitments you have made.

3. Keep your priorities in mind. Priorities give our life more clarity and show us the path to follow. Priorities play a large role in the decisions we make and whether to say yes or no to a request. Saying no to the things that are not on your priority list is perfectly acceptable.

4. Become more empowered. Empowerment is the process of increasing the capacity of an individual to make choices and to transform those choices into desired actions and outcomes.

5. To free yourself from the guilt associated with turning down a friend or family member, keep in mind that by saying no you are voicing your opinion, standing up for rights and becoming the sole proprietor of your life. Affirm this fact every morning. It's better than asking yourself how you got into so much by saying yes all the time.

6. Saying no is not a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of strength. It indicates that you know your own strengths, abilities and limitations. If you don't want to say no, then learn to say 'not right now' instead. Compare how you feel when you say yes to something and want to do it to when you say yes to something and really wanted to say no. When you do something because you really want to, you will have positive feelings and outlook on fulfilling your promise. If you said yes and wanted to say no, your feelings are going to be different. Perhaps these emotions come to mind: frustration, anger, resentment, and stress. Do you want to feel positive or negative? Go with your gut reaction.

7. Being assertive by saying no is not a negative trait and is not a form of confrontation or disrespect, as some people may think. It shows that you have self-respect and self-esteem and that you know you are not responsible for everybody and everything.

8. You should never feel bad about saying no to being asked to do something which conflicts with your values or morals.

9. When you need to say no to a request, it's fine to give an explanation. Perhaps you don't feel you have the skills, time or resources to complete the request. And saying no because I need time for myself is perfectly fine too. Feel good knowing that you were honest and up front with the other person.

10. Minimize the stress involved with saying no by smoothing out the transition by using these three easy steps: (1) acknowledge the request ('Thank you for thinking of me.'); (2) convey your circumstances ('After reviewing my calendar, I don't have the time'); (3) minimize the saying of no ('Maybe next time' or 'Have you considered?').

11. Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you have always helped plan the company picnic does not mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no can free up time for you to pursue other hobbies and interests.

12. Remember that yes is not always going to be the best answer. If you are already over committed, you have a much better chance of getting sick, tired and crabby, which won't benefit anyone else either.

13. Many good causes may land at your door and it can be tough to turn them down. Complimenting the person or group's efforts while saying that you are not able to commit at this time helps to soften the blow and keeps you in good graces and feeling good.this is a clip from a newsletter

Saying no is something you should teach your children. And if someone tells you that you owe them because of something they did for you or gave to you, then do not accept anything from that person again. It's great to help other's, but not if its at great expense to you emotionally, physically or financially. And certainly not if you are taken advantage of or taken for granted.

Eating style blamed on global warming

Kate Geagan, registered dietitian in Park City, Utah, refers to a University of Iowa study that has found that food on average travels about 1,500 miles to reach people's tables. "When we choose highly processed packaged foods, we contribute to global warming, so food is a new part of the dialogue about the environment.

And this is something that everyone can do now and not wait for politicians to enact changes. An added bonus is that eating green saves green and what consumer doesn't want to save money on food?" the Environmental News Newwork quoted her as saying, while explaining how changing one's diet can impact the environment. Kate, whose book 'Go Green Get Lean: Trim Your Waistline With the Ultimate Low-Carbon Footprint Diet' will be published in March, also says that there is a difference between eating green and being a vegetarian.

"Only about 3 percent of the U.S. population identifies themselves as vegetarians, so that is not doable for most people. But what is doable is choosing local or regional foods to reduce our carbon footprint. This isn't just about eliminating meat or eating only organic foods. If your organic smoothie is shipped by air and freight halfway around the world, then it isn't healthy for the environment.

Eating green strikes a balance between cost, health and the planet -- a win-win for everyone," she said. Kate also revealed her top three tips for consumers to go green. "Eat more plants and cut down on beef and dairy. You don't have to give up beef or dairy, but by eating meatless one day a week you can improve the environment and do something good for your health," she said. "Eat less food product and eat more food. Highly processed packaged foods consume valuable resources and they are usually not very healthful.

"Rethink your drink. Bottled beverages are heavy to ship. Consider drinking tap water instead of bottled water and rethink the diet soft drinks. Did you know it takes 2,200 fossil fuel calories to produce a one-calorie diet drink?" she added.

Freecycle MY VIEW

Back when freecycle first started, I was a moderator with a group of great gals. We went to the Earth Day celebrations and had a table announcing freecycle to those who were not aware of it. It was a thankless,, non paying job, but we all hoped to be helping the environment.

People, at least in my area, are so greedy, all they did on the group was ask for things...boats, hot tubs, etc. It was started to keep things out of landfills, it turned into living proof about how greedy people were.

I moderated for two years and when the group owner decided she could not take the greed anymore and said she was quitting, she offered it to me....I declined and told her I was leaving with her. I stayed a member of the group for a short time, but the new group owner let it go to their head, and the group went to hell. I started a small trash to treasure group and the only requests aloud were for normal things and only one thing a month was aloud to be requested per member. I gave away real wood bunk beds on it once, kitchen items etc.

To this day, the group remains small, and the it has no greed. I don't even mind people selling things on it, as long as its not a place to sell their new stuff, their business sales stuff etc. Just a virtual yard sale. We have people who give stuff away free and sell stuff cheap. Its a nice group.

I cannot believe the nerve of poeple asking for things like boats and hot tubs. And when I posted things I had available, the stories and emails I got about why they should get it, it just made me mad. I am not sure if its just our local freecycle or all of them. I know our local people are known for their rudeness.

I have things I get rid of all of the time, I am always purging. I have friends that I give it to, and if they don't want it, I post it on my trash to treasure group.